After years of charge upon charge, the world knows quite well that former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi loves 1) tax evasion and 2) dangerously young women. What we didn’t know was that his love for women went beyond simply courting and bedding them. In a court document from his current trial for soliciting underage prostitutes, Berlusconi is described as the “director of the young women’s sexual performances” at his notorious Bunga Bunga parties (we’re unsure if Bunga Bunga is a proper noun or not, so we’ll capitalize just to be safe).
Hearing this statement, it’s hard not to picture Berlusconi standing in his living room with a megaphone and waving his arms affectively at a bunch of underage girls who are trying to dance according to his directions, only for him to get frustrated at their ineptitude, throw the megaphone on the floor and walk out of the room. Beneath the layers of corrupt politician, sexual deviant, and all-around sack of garbage, Silvio Berlusconi is a creative. Though he’s been trapped in the drudgery of politics and all the scrutiny that comes with it, he’s known all his life that his true calling is directing sex parties. And he’s good. In fact, he’s the best. In several instances, the court document quoted what it considered to be incriminating statements, but what any student of cinema would recognize as directorial genius.
The list of statements includes the following (translated from Italian):
We doubt you are getting it in like Silvio, but if you are, buckle up.