Lists are poppin’ these days. This isn’t surprising–Verge culture manifests its thoughts as a sea of content, and lists serve as ordered little rafts for us to clutch, saving us from drowning in the disorganized, bountiful, messy, intricate, disgusting, beautiful shitbucket we call the internet. Our comrades over at Complex are the captains of the list game. We’ve taken it upon ourselves to serve you with an arbitrarily numbered (why seven? why 10? why 50? why??) listicle of the most ridiculous yet meaningful listicles we could find on their website.
7. 5 Lessons Learned on Last Night’s Love and Hip Hop From learning how to properly spell the word “bitch” to post-coital beaver maintenance, we all know there’s a lot to learn from this terrible reality show. There’s really nowhere else for us find this kind of meaningful knowledge, ya feel me? Fuck school.
6. 20 Worst College Football Tattoos Pictures of atrocious tattoos fill us with such intense joy–we can barely describe it. Tramp stamps on guys, disgustingly explicit sexual imagery, typos, barf-inducing, infected rashes–this list has it all. LOVE.
5. 50 Freshest Sneakerhead Toddlers on Instagram It took us, on average, 26 years to get our sneaker games even half-way on point. So when we saw this list of FIFTY babies looking flyer than we will ever look, we decided then and there that we’re going to put all of our parents in the vilest old-folks homes we can find, when the time comes. Y U NO DRESS US BETTER, PAPA??
4. The Best Men’s Jackets for Fall Right Now We love fall/winter, mainly because we’re all about boots, hoodies and jackets but also because we fucking love creating then diving into gigantic piles of dead leaves. This list is on this list also because we sell some super fly jackets:
Now this is what we’re talking about. Favorites include: a dive bar, Williamsburg, and the Museum of Natural History.
We thought we could be friends, Complex. We really, truly did. But. This. Means. War.
God, it was hard to pick favorites–every single one of these WSHH comments had us dying. But if we HAD to pick three favorites:
Drake the type of nigga who complains when you leave the toilet seat up.
Drake the type of nigga to slam the soap on the prison floor.
Drake the type of nigga to send his homeboy in jail a pic of himself flexing in the mirror with a note attached that says “I’m right here with you dawg.
BRB, we’ll be the next door ROFLMOO.