I’ve always wanted to be a pirate. Pirates have been cool since they’ve existed. There’s actually a lot of interesting history about pirates if you look into it. For instance, they were pretty much the first dudes to not be racist. They’d accept anyone as one of their own as long as you were down to pillage some shit. There’d be a Crusade going on and slaves being traded but you’d have a pirate ship with Christians, Muslims, and Africans all sailing around together totally f*cking everyone else up as a team.
The pirates today aren’t overall as cool as the pirates of the past, but they definitely still LOOK as cool. They live in Somalia and chew leaves that make you high all day on boats and play with AK-47’s. I‘ve always been into their looks, so here’s a little guide for how YOU can dress like a Somali pirate.
1. Rothco 3-Hole Face Mask
This Rothco skimask is essential to protect your identity from Interpol, the United States Navy, and whatever other haters might try to interfere with you hijacking an oil tanker from Saudi Arabia.
2. IMKING Raygun Tee
Tattered old t-shirts and camouflage is a Somali pirate staple. This IMKING Ray Gun tee kinda catches the vibe without actually wearing something that’s survived a dozen civil wars.
3. LRG Panda Camo Pants
Nice desert camo from LRG. Somali pirates either wear camo pants or they wear pants that look like a genie pants. But we don’t sell genie pants at Karmaloop. Yet.
4. Altamont Paint Camo 5 Panel
And finally, if there’s one thing we’ve learned from Somali pirates is that it’s totally OK to mismatch your camo. Add this Altamont 5 panel and you’re good to go and start hijacking oil tankers.