As we all know, the internet can become a dark, dangerous vortex if you don’t know how to navigate it. Unfortunately, we ate one too many “brownies” today and found ourselves in some of the grimiest places one can visit with a click. Every time we tried to climb out of our despair, we found ourselves clicking further and further back into the TMZ archives. Let’s just say, we’re happy the brownies eventually wore off.
After our out of body experience, we figured the best thing we could do is bring what we found to y’all, all in one place, so you won’t have to face the same fate. Read through to learn about the craziest stories on the interwebs today.
1. Man Eats Poop
Photo via Extracurriculars
This morning, this insane article came to our attention. We looked through the article and it turns out that there’s a guy out there that smokes animal poop out of a homemade pipe and hasn’t showered in 60 years. His skin looks like an elephants elbows and he lives in a random ditch. And, since you think we’re lying, you can click here to see it all.
2. Justin Bieber Commits Felony Egging
Photo via Flow935
Remember when Justin Bieber came out and had that goofball ass bowl cut like a chump? It was all good though because he was like 9 years old. How can a grown ass man hate on a 9 year old kid’s haircut just because he’s getting paid crazy loot? We all know the current Justin Bieber is a tattooed badass who gets it in on the regular with strange trim, but did any of us see him getting raided by 5-0 as a possibility? What’s even more bonkers is that he got raided on some “trumped up charges” about him egging his neighbors house and rumor has it, that’s a FELONY in California? AND, according to TMZ, his his best friend Little Za got arrested for cocaine charges during the raid. Did Bieber go on a coke rampage and egg his neighbors house in a silk robe like that crazy guy with the mustache in Boogie Nights? Does any of this make sense to you? Well, it’s all over the Internet, so it has to be true.
3. The DEA Deals More Drugs Than You Know
Late last night the news broke that the DEA has been in cahoots with the notorious Sinaloa Cartel for over a decade. Some might find it hard to believe that “the Man” would co-operate with a massive drug cartel, but I guess that’s why they call them “the Man.”
Don’t smoke poop, y’all. Get right with the Plantlife instead.