Ahh, Friday. A day that always seems to have a silver lining around it. Sure, it may be like any other full day of work, but it’s easier to get through the 8-hour grind when you know that 6:00PM on a Friday evening can also double as Fuck-This-Shit O’ Clock when you leave the office for a blissful two days.
This past Friday in particular, however, had a silver lining that turned to shit. Deadlines, dumb questions, and an endless pile of projects came across my desk and I’m sure my co-workers can say the same. Not to mention, today is the day after Halloween, which is otherwise known as All Saints Day, or Violent Hangover Day in Karmaloop’s case. It’s sad but true: while innocent children are trick-or-treating for candy on Halloween, 20-somethings like myself are tricking people into treating them to tequila shots and hating their headache-ridden lives the next day.
Back to the story. On this particular day, my coworker Kate and I were loaded up on Ibuprofen and chugging water ’til the cows came home. When our days are as hellish as this, we look to our interns for support with small projects that can take even the littlest amount of work off our plates. This afternoon, however, we noticed a certain British intern named Will had not shown up for work.
It was almost as if dear Will could read our minds, because Kate received this email almost immediately after our realization:
Now, for those of you unfamiliar with office life at Karmaloop, it’s safe to say that debauchery is our middle name. For reference, look to the one of the many recaps of our infamous Cyber Monday and Freakathon events.
So, luckily for Will, we weren’t pissed off that he missed work, but were hilariously entertained by the fact that he actually had the balls to write a letter like this to his BOSS. Instead of fulfilling his first firing experience, Kate told Will that for his penance, he had to write us a full-on summary of his night.
After some guideline questions, (What did you drink? What were you dressed up as? How did you woo your lady friend? Did you drunkenly fall down? When did you black out?) we received this hilarious recap from Will:
An acceptable synopsis that had Kate, myself, resident copywriter, Rachel, and the entire office crying tears of laughter. Our favorite quote from the story:
“I don’t know much about the prey of Orcas like Free Willy and whether they even know about Bunnie’s but I was like boom, target acquired, besides I don’t think anyone could pull off a hot tuna costume.”
Obviously, though, we needed more. So Kate posed one final, important couple of questions:
How long was your walk of shame, and were you wearing your fin?
So, if you were in Boston today and saw a tall, brown-haired, British man dressed as Free Willy on a walk of shame (sorry, a “stride of pride”), you now know who it was.
No good story is complete without a lesson. The moral of Will’s booze-induced story is: Next time you’re too hungover to make it to work or your internship, try the honest humor card, as long as you don’t mind your bosses laughing at and exploiting your drunken antics for the entertainment of the entire office.
Everyone here at Karmaloop is looking forward to Will’s hangover clearing up and his triumphant return to work next week.