With a new semester starting in a few weeks, Juicy J has revealed a previously unevidenced philanthropic predilection by offering a $50,000 scholarship to the “best chick that can twerk.” All you young mamas out there, now is your chance to shine. Get your butts prepped. Hold on to them, and then let them go.
im giving out a 50k scholarships to the best chick that can twerk
— juicy j (@therealjuicyj) August 22, 2013
We know a thing or two about twerking, considering we are the LASER-EYED MAGELLANS OF UPSIDE-DOWN TWERKING.
Here is some priceless insight to help you in your quest to be the “best chick that can twerk.”
HOW TO TWERK: A GURU Guide
Before anything, learn the basics. There’s a lot of good advice out here, but this Howcast video is the cleanest:
1. Think outside the box.
Notice that the video above has 11 million+ views. That means that everybody is doing this. To achieve “best chick that can twerk”-status, you must differentiate yourself from the competition. The upside down twerk is fantastic, but give it your own spin. Try out a side-ways twerk. Perhaps an inside-out twerk? Not sure what that means, do with it what you will.
2. Location, location, location.
Again, it’s important to be creative here. Bedrooms are played out. Twerk at the MOMA. Jiggle those buns on a fire escape.
Get Scorsese on this shit. Go find the nerdiest video guy you can find and hire him as your director of photography. Invest in a tripod, a steady cam, a jib, lights if you need, whatever it takes to get the shot. Be resourceful, but think big. Think of each frame of your video as a work of art in and of itself.
4. Look right.
Let’s be honest. A juicy booty with weak twerk game will outshine a brick wall butt with amazing twerk game. Start preparing a few weeks in advance. Eat a bunch of unhealthy food. Do some squats. Get in some heels and stay in them. You need that ass looking correct. Your future depends on it.
5. Competitive Analysis.
There’s $50,000 on the line here, so expect a whole lot of competition. Do your due diligence. Every morning when you wake up, scour twitter, Vine, Instagram, Facebook, WorldStarHipHop, and every ratchet site you stumble across for twerk videos. The important thing here is to not get discouraged by the competence of your peers: get inspired. Borrow ideas freely, experiment and develop them to make them your own, but be very careful not to blatantly just copy someone. Don’t be a biter.
So there you go. Follow our guide and your chances to win this scholarship and begin your journey into adult life will increase ten-fold. We guarantee it.
Watch Karmaloop’s Carissa Rossi chop it up with Juicy J.