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Everyone knows you can trip off Robitussin (and for those of you who didn’t, well, now you do), but did you know there’s a nasal spray that’s like a legal form of meth? Better yet, did you know there was a widely available energy drink that vitamin stores were peddling that had a chemical structure so close to meth it was taken off the market?
Buckle-up future psychonauts–here’s a list of legal highs you might like and you’ll likely levy severe and lasting emotional damage from, but either way, they’re not going to cost you more than ten bucks, and your parents are definitely not going to kick your ass if they find the remnants of your little OTC adventure in your room. But seriously, don’t try any of these.
1. ROBITUSSIN (DXM)
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Robitussin tastes terrible, but don’t fear: they come in gel cap form, too. Aficionados know only to by the one that has DXM and no other active ingredients. DXM won’t kill you at high doses (although it might make you throw up), but guaifenesin and chlorpheniramine will. So, this means you’re going to have to stay away from CCC, or Coricidin.
DXM has a serious cult following and the highs are broken into plateaus: first, second, third, fourth. Depending on what plateau you’re on (or how much you’ve taken), you’re going to feel something slightly different. This handy little table here tells you exacltly how much you need to take to reach which plateau. Third and fourth plateau tripping is some serious finding-God-while-seeing-the-future stuff, and you might be the kind of person whose body won’t even allow them to go that far. A tell-tale sign that you are is robo-itch, a rash that some people get because their body just can’t handle that much DXM.
After robo-itch comes the vomiting, and that red dye is pretty difficult to get out. Kids, don’t do drugs.
2. DRAMAMINE (DIMENHYDRINATE) and BENADRYL (DIPHENYDRAMINE)
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These are WEIRD drugs to get high on. You trip, but it’s not a “trip” like you might experience on LSD or shrooms. Like DXM, some people like it, other people will tell you it’s the stupidest thing they’ve ever done. High doses of either of these drugs are going to make you very, very confused.
Truthfully, most people have negative reactions on this stuff. It’s not necessarily that you’re in any actual danger, but you might falsely believe you are, enough to fuck up your life. Bad trips are part of the package, and you might find yourself begging for a doctor or thinking your mom is trying to kill you because your brain goes to a very weird, disturbed place.
True, on the onset, life feels dreamy, you might feel relaxed. But be prepared for that to quickly turn into a nightmare, especially if you’re prone to odd or magical thinking. With this one, we’d say your best bet is to look elsewhere. Don’t do drugs, kids.
3. BENZEDREX (PROPYLHEXADRINE)
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Enough of this tripping bullshit. Here’s our first stimulant. Propylhexadrine is the closest legal thing on the market that mimics an amphetamine. It’s pretty much an Adderall substitute.
What people do with Benzedrex is break open the plastic container, and instead of sniffing it, they eat the cotton that’s contained inside. The potential stomach ache that comes with eating cotton can be avoided by soaking them in water.
Even though we described it as an ‘Adderall substitute,’ it’s shitty as far as a study aid goes, because it doesn’t give you the same motivation that Adderall does. But it has other qualities of Adderall: that blood-rushing-to-your-face sensation, the jitters, the clearheadedness, the euphoria. And like Adderall, there’s no hangover. The worst thing about Benzedrex is you might not strike a good full vs. empty stomach balance which will cause a harsh comedown, but you don’t want to do it on a full stomach, either.
Please, children, refrain from partaking in dangerous drug-taking activities.
4. AFRIN (OXYMETAZOLINE)
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Our advice on this one? Don’t do it. There are a ton of negatives: blurry vision, light headedness, faster heartbeat. And it’s not a good kind of fast, either. It’s this awful, when-is-this-going-to-stop feeling that makes you regret ever cracking open your Afrin in the first place. Just… don’t do it.
5. MORNING GLORY SEEDS (LSA)
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Morning Glory seeds are a hallucinogen. And they’re legal. But it’s not that easy. Many brands of Morning Glory seeds are coated with chemicals to deter recreational use. One brand that’s still (not so) safe is Burpee (K-Mart and Walmart both carry it), as it’s all natural.
People extract the LSA using a cold water extraction technique. Some just eat them, but that tends to be less effective as it causes nausea and stomach cramps (and you may end up just throwing up).
The trip that follows is intense. The come up is slow, and you might be asking yourself whether it worked or not. But once it hits you… it really hits you. You’ll be slightly more lucid than you are with LSD, but the experience is definitely psychedelic. And although the trip is much less visual, that doesn’t chip away at its intensity. We strongly encourage you young-folk out there to never experiment with this mild-altering substance.
But seriously, DO NOT try any of the above.