Lil' Debbie Answers Your Juicy Relationship Questions

Lil Debbie Keeping it real.

In her weekly column for GURU, Lil Debbie hears out your most twisted relationship issues and disintegrates them with the pure, blinding light of bad bitch common sense.

We all know what it’s like to be caught in the middle of relationship troubles. No matter how hot your newest fling is, or how good your man is to you, you’re either not getting any or you’re not getting it right. We’ve all been there. For my very first advice column, I’m tackling the issues plaguing some of my more soft-hearted fans. Ultimately, the greatest thing you can do for yourself is to stay true to who you are, and if your crush is still not having any of it… keep it moving.

Nice popsicle.

Dear Lil Debbie,

I’m dying to lose my virginity this summer but this boy only wants me as a friend! I tried everything from makeup to showing off my body, but he still don’t want me :( How can I make him like me so I can get rid of my hymen or how can I get rid of my feelings for him?

ps i love you & your music you the baddest bitch in the industry and my biggest role model

Debbie: You probably shouldn’t fuck with him. As a matter of fact, don’t fuck at all. He obviously doesn’t want you if he isn’t responding to your attempts. There are hella men in this world. Stop wasting your time on this loser and you’ll meet someone. It might take some time but you definitely cant be fucking with everyone. Especially this guy.

You can see the world with these.

I’m in love with a girl that has a boyfriend for seven years now. I know that she wants to be with me but she is trapped in this relationship with him because she is very dependent and now all of her friends are her boyfriend’s so if she leaves him she is risking her entire social life. What can I do?

I hope you become whatever you want.

Debbie: Stop being a noodle. Man up, go get her… like really go really fuck with her. Maybe bring her flowers, better yet a blunt. Just be assertive. If she still doesn’t want you after all that, then move on. You can’t wait forever, and honestly this bitch seems like she’ll be stuck in this trap for a WHILE.

Scissors and comb.

I really love my short hair, but I feel like it makes guys less attracted to me… I am black, so growing out my hair is a long process. I loved your short hair but then you seemed to grow it out, so now I’m like fuck. Does short hair make me ugly?

I love you, you really do influence me to be myself and not take shit from anyone. Stay bad bitch <3

Debbie: First of all, thanks for the love! But girl… you’re trippin. I’m sure your short hair is gorgeous and honestly boys and men do not know how to act. Be proud of the look you do have and wear it with confidence. Everyone has a different face shape and if you loved your short hair in the beginning, then you must have had a good reason to have it for so long. Stay true and keep doing you.

Got a relationship question for Lil Debbie? Hit her up right here.


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