While we don’t fux with gospel R&B too much, we had a moment this past June when former Destiny’s Child member Michelle Williams released “If we had your eyes.” It was right around the end of the song, where she’s praying and telling god what she thinks it would be like to have his eyes. Naturally, we printed out a life-sized image of her head, cut out the eyes, glued them over our own, removed all our clothes, crouched in the fetal position in our office boiler room, and rocked back and forth until the super found us. It took several months of therapy, but we managed to get our head straight, clean up, get a job, and work our way back to the top. That is, until today, when the official Fantasia remix of the same song appeared on our feed. Our hand was trembling as it pressed the play button, and sure enough, we got to the end of the song and blacked out. Having just woken up in the alley behind our building just moments ago, we’re frantically typing this blog post into our phone before calling 911.
We figured this would be perhaps the last opportunity to share some of the creepy fan art we made when the song first came out. Basically, we tried to make all these notoriously ugly people beautiful by replacing their eyes with Michelle Williams’. It totally worked. Look how gorgeous we made Chris Christie, Gucci Mane, Steve Buscemi, and Kelly Osbourne. You’re welcome.
Hide your eyes with a pair of wavy sunglasses from Karmaloop!