BREAKING: Obama Responds to Kendrick’s "Control"

Who is better on the mic?

The whole world heard Kendrick’s call last week when he dropped a scathing verse on Big Sean‘s “Control,” unexpectedly taking down a ton of big names. While he called out a long list of fellow rappers, he left out one important man.

U.S. officials have confirmed yet another breach of classified data this morning. In a shocking revelation, an audio file by President Barack Obama allegedly “going HAM” has been uncovered.

Purportedly produced by Clams Casino, the track was “never meant to be made public to the American people.” Though the concerted effort by the U.S. government to have the track removed from the Internet was successful, insiders at GURU were able to jot down a few of our favorite lines:

I’m at the top of the totem / The potus holdin’ it down while you clowns slow as shit like old modems

Son, I stay wreakin’ tapes / ‘Control’ didn’t mention me / You finna be forgotten in a decade / I’ll be relevant for centuries
Ice T tweeted praise for the continued response to Kendrick: “Even Obama’s tripping. HA!”
ICE T vs. Obama
GURU is receiving early, unconfirmed reports that the Dolo Bear is currently preparing a track to enter this melee. Click HERE to show your support for Dolo Bear.

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