Rap music is no stranger to commodification of art and artists, once known as “selling out” and looked down upon by all purists. All that has changed. It’s no longer about boomboxes and spinning on cardboard and rappity-rapping. It’s about money. In the last year alone, we’ve seen Jay Z team up with Samsung, Rick Ross pair up with Reebok, Macklemore with the NBA, and many more.
Instead of fighting the current, we at GURU decided to ride it and see where it could take us. While contemplating potential rapper/brand partnerships, we realized that there have never been any Rapper x Department Store collaborations. This left us speechless, since rappers love things in excess, and no one does that better than department stores.
Feel free to take the initiative and make these happen if you have the means. Just be sure to give GURU credit when you end up a multi billionaire. Here are our 5 Most Likely Rapper x Department Store Collaborations:
1. Rick Ross x Ross
Look, Rick obviously loves sweat suits and Ross stores carry tons of XXXXXL sweatsuits. This is a no-brainer. Hell, they could even put a Wing-Stop inside of it. WHY HASN’T THIS HAPPENED ALREADY?!
2. Macy Gray x Macy’s
Macy’s Gray? Sounds pretty good to me. They could specialize in designer lipstick, wigs, and leather boots while having “I Try” on repeat in the store. Wait, why this just sound like a regular Macy’s?
3. K Dot x K-Mart
Before he was Kendrick Lamar, he was K Dot. And before you could afford to shop at Bed, Bath & Beyond, you shopped at K-Mart. For this collaboration, we are thinking a Dissed by Kendrick Lamaar™ cologne. Basically, whenever you are having a problem with someone, you discretely spray some of this cologne on them, and they become so offended by the scent that they have have to bow down. Sort of like how Drake felt after hearing Kendrick’s verse on “Control”.
4. Paul Wall x WalMart
Paul Wall‘s Mart. We advocate transitioning from the current WalMart business model, to a more mom and pop type of store. Paul Wall’s Mart would carry daily essentials like camo du-rags, Timberlands, toothbrushes, and more. And yes, you will be able to purchase built-while-you-wait grills 24 hours a day. Why would WalMart ever do this? Two words: street cred.
5. J. Cole x Kohls
J Kohl’s. This has to happen. Every time we see J Cole, he is dressed in something slightly suspect. If you think we’re lying, feel free to check this, that, or this. Now, though Kohl’s is not known for their standout fashions, we’re thinking a J Kohl’s clothing line could be pretty successful. Well, at least more successful than Bu-Shi or Vokal.
Luckily for you, you don’t have to wait until these collaborations finally happen to get your wardrobe together. We’ve got you covered. Click below for some fitted sweatpants and non-du rag related headwear.