LIL INTERNET is our creative director. He is very brilliant and also quite handsome, and smart most of the time too. Some credit him with the invention of Seapunk, the hottest new genre in the streets. Others credit that accomplishment to Spongebob Squarepants. Oddly, there are many similarities between LIL INTERNET and Spongebob Squarepants. But we digress…
Before he joined our ranks, Señor INTERNET was out in Hollywood striving to elevate his acting career, and he was actually doing pretty well. He had small parts in several major motion pictures. He hates talking about it, but we are outing him today.
Here are five movies that you didn’t know LIL INTERNET was in.
1. The Matrix
LIL INTERNET: BRO I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT WACHOWSKI DUDE IS A WOMAN NOW. I REMEMBER DRINKING A BEER WITH HIM AND HE WAS TELLING ME ABOUT HOW HE HAS A BUNCH OF TURTLES IN HIS SWIMMING POOL. WEIRD GUY BUT I LIKED IT. I WAS ONLY IN ONE QUICK SCENE IN THIS MOVIE THO. YOU KNOW WHEN NEO FIRST WAKES UP IN THAT CRAZY PLACENTA FILLED POD ALL BALD AND NAKED AND SHIT AND THEN HE FALLS THROUGH THE TUBE AND YOU KINDA SEE HIS DICK BUT NOT REALLY? THAT WAS ME BRO. MY DICK.
LIL INTERNET: BRO I WOULDN’T HAVE DONE THIS MOVIE. I REALLY DIDN’T WANT TO BUT ANGELINA BEGGED ME AND SHE’S GOT THAT CHARM. NONE OF THOSE GUYS CAN ACTUALLY TYPE THOUGH. SO WHENEVER YOU SEE A CLOSE UP SHOT OF THEIR FINGERS TYPING SOME CRAZY HACKER SHIT, THOSE WERE MY FINGERS BRO.
3. The Girl With the Dragon Tatoo
LIL INTERNET: I WISH LIZBETH SALANDER WAS A REAL PERSON BRO; SHE’S SO BADDASS. THE ACTRESS CHICK WHO PLAYED HER WAS A TOTAL DRAMA QUEEN WHICH MAKES SENSE I GUESS SINCE SHE’S AN ACTRESS. THEY USED ME AS A BODY DOUBLE FOR THE SCENE WHERE SHE TORTURES THAT ASSHOLE SOCIAL WORKER WHO RAPED HER. NOT FOR THE SOCIAL WORKER, I WAS LIZBETH’S BODY DOUBLE, SHE COULDN’T STAND THE HEAT.
4. Can’t Hardly Wait
LIL INTERNET: YO REMEMBER THAT SCENE WITH SETH AND THE REDHEAD IN THE BATHROOM? I CAME UP WITH THAT IDEA ON THE FLY BRO AND I DIRECTED THAT WHOLE SHIT. THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO ME WITH SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS, WHICH IS HOW SEAPUNK WAS CONCEIVED.