In one of the better stories to emerge from the Video Music Awards, it looks like Diddy and J Cole got into a little altercation at the Dream Hotel on Sunday night. Apparently there was no physical element to it, although something beef-esque definitely went down. How do we know? Well, because Diddy confirmed it:
— Diddy (@iamdiddy) August 26, 2013
To make things more interesting, it seems like this whole thing stemmed from something J Cole said to Diddy’s mistress, Cassie. (Sidenote: Cassie is cool, but she’s no Karrueche, you feel me?). Either way, rappers arguing over women has to be the biggest waste of time in the history of history. Upon hearing this story, we started to ponder all the better ways our favorite rappers could waste their precious time:
Here at GURU, we are big fans of both Curren$y and Riff Raff. If you know them half as well as we do, you know that they are quite good at rolling paper… planes. All the years of that nimble finger work MUST have given them the skills to be expert Operation players. We’re putting our money on Curren$y (see what I did there?), because I’ve always been impressed by his ability to get things done despite being higher than a weedhead flying a hang-glider.
Regardless how you feel about Mac Miller, he is actually a really cool guy. The same could be said for Young Veggies. Put these two together in a room over a game of MVC and it is bound to be hilarious. Casey is definitely the underdog here, since Mac doesn’t seem to ever lose, but you can never be sure. We’re going with Mac, though.
Twista is a lucky, lucky man with this one. As you can see from this clip, Iggy has great assets. Though I see Iggy winning the actual game, the real winner here is Twista.
Why hasn’t this happened already? If you don’t know about Whisker Wars, it is a show focused on “competitive facial hair growing.” Combine that with our respect for the beard, and this could get pretty intense. I’m gonna go with Stalley on a whim, but Mr. Rozay has been on a roll lately, so who knows?
What happens when two of the most cerebral figures in rap music sit down to play chess? We can only imagine. It would either be a five hour stalemate or reveal to us the coordinates of the Eighth Wonder of The World. Regardless, we do know this bout of chess will delay Jay Electronica’s album even further.
In the event that you ever find yourself staring down The RZA in a chess match, at least have the common sense to show up in some fly Wu-Tang gear. Trust me, that is your best shot at winning anything.